Fire Emblem: Wingman
by twindragonsx1
Summary: When Lon'qu finally musters the courage to ask the love of his life out for dinner, he gets some very unexpected help from the "manliest man in the world", Vaike. Modern AU.


He sighed deeply, a long, drawn out groan as he rode the elevator to the fourteenth floor of the building. The constant 'ping's of the elevator as it passed by the other floors only served as yet another irritation to his morning.

He found himself running a hand through his dark, messy hair as he asked himself the same question he did every single morning.

"What am I doing with my life?"

Briefly, he searched to find an answer, as per usual, but upon finding none, he shoved the thought aside.

The elevator slowed and eventually ground to a halt as it reached the fourteenth floor, where he was to aid an employee having issues with their computer.

It was also the floor in which the woman he... dare he say it, loved, worked on.

The doors slid open, revealing the sea of cubicles that awaited him. People shuffled back and forth between the cubicles, some just arriving to work while others walked by with mugs of coffee in hand. One person strolled by, happily whistling a tune.

"Urgh. Morning people," he grumbled as he stepped out of the elevator. He quickly made for the left, passing someone walking too slowly for his tastes. Taking a right, he arrived at his destination.

"Alright. What are you having problems wi-" He quickly cut himself off as he saw who was sitting in front of the computer before him.

"Panne?"

She swiveled around in her chair. "Ah, Lon'qu. Of all the specialists they could send here, it was you, thank gods. This...infernal machine has me quite confused."

Finally. Something to brighten his morning. Although, of all the office workers in the world, he least expected Panne to be having problems with a computer. He knew Panne was a smart woman; perhaps it was a virus? No, it couldn't be. The anti-virus program he installed had to have detected it. Maybe it was-

"Lon'qu? Is there something wrong with my face?"

Startled, he shook his head slightly. "I... What? No, er, sorry. I was... thinking."

Panne nodded her head. Standing, she allowed Lon'qu his space to work. Seating himself, he stared into the computer screen, which was filled with blue and had white script scrolling over it.

"A problem has been detected, and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer. If this is..."

He stopped reading it there as Panne spoke. "I simply attempted to open up the calendar program, and this ridiculous message appeared. If I'm not mistaken-"

He cut her off there as he leaned down to press the power button. "Did you try turning it off and then on again?"

She was silent for a moment. "No, I did not. Does it have a profound effect upon the computer?"

"Actually, yes, it does. It allows the computer to reset and clear all of its memory." He pressed the power button once more.

"I see."

They both sat in wait as the computer rebooted. Once the home screen appeared, Lon'qu double clicked the calendar icon in the top right corner. It opened without further incident.

"There you have it," he said as he stood and retreated to the cubicle's entryway.

"Ah, my thanks," Panne replied. She seated herself and began scheduling.

Even though he stood in the doorway, Lon'qu did not leave. Instead, he thought if he should really do it. This was his chance, after all. He never saw Panne at work, seeing as he was always off on other floors and he was normally working a few floors down anyways. Really, he only saw Panne when that fool Vaike or Chrom's sister Lissa wanted to invite everyone out to eat. Even still, he never spoke to the women, preferring to sit in the corner and silently watch his coworkers.

It was several minutes before she noticed him still standing in the doorway. "Lon'qu, you realize that you have been standing in that exact spot for more than two minutes now?"

He shook his head again. "I, u-um, yes, am aware of that. Er, I was just wondering... if you'd... uh... I was trying to ask if... Gods, I am asking if you'd l-like to... forget it. Never mind. As far as I'm concerned, this conversation never happened." He blushed a very deep shade of crimson.

The corners of Panne's mouth turned upwards. "Lon'qu," she said, swiveling around. "If I am correct, you are attempting to ask me if I would like to go out to dinner with you sometime?"

He blinked in surprise. "Ugh... you... yes. I-I am."

"Then I am saying yes," she nodded.

"I... what?"

She gave him a rather pointed look. "I am saying yes, I would like to go out to dinner with you sometime."

"That's... good, I suppose. Erm, are you free tonight? At around... Maybe six thirty? I could... um... pick you up around then?"

She gave a curt laugh. "This is not high school, Lon'qu. This is adulthood. The real world. Besides the fact that you do not know where I live, I am perfectly capable of getting to the restaurant on my own. Where will you intend for us to go?"

"Oh. Uh, right, of course. Is the Golden Dragon restaurant alright?"

Panne smiled. "Excellent choice. I hear the food there is quite delectable."

"Alright then. The Golden Dragon, at six thirty tonight. I'll... uh, see you then."

She nodded and swivels back around as he turns and leaves the office.

"Urgh. Stupid. Very, very stupid." He approached the elevator when a tanned, very muscular arm blocked his path.

"Hey, there, Lonny. Fine morning we have here, eh?"

"Move, fool. I've no time for your games, and I certainly do _not_ need you to address me as 'Lonny'!"

"Hey, that's no way to talk to a friend!" Vaike laughed. "Especially when that friend is the Vaike!"

Lon'qu pushed past him and made for the elevator. Pushing the 'down' button, he impatiently waited for it to arrive. Currently, it was on floor twenty.

"Real smooth, Lonny. Asking Panne out on a date? Smooth."

He whirled around. "You heard that?!"

"Of course he did! The Vaike hears all, knows all! Especially when he was only one cubicle over!"

Lon'qu blushed. "You will not speak of this to anyone!"

"Oh, please. Of course! The Vaike wouldn't backstab a friend!" Then he grinned. "But only on one condition!"

"Name it," he replied instantly.

There was a dramatic pause. "The Vaike gets to be your wingman tonight!"

Lon'qu stared back, dumbfounded. "My... wingman?"

Vaike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, your wingman! What, you born in a barn?"

"Fine, whatever you say. However, if you make a fool of yourself, I wish to be no part of it!"

He laughed. "Yeah, yeah. The Vaike understands."

The elevator arrived, and Lon'qu stepped inside of it. Vaike waved a goodbye, and as the doors shut, he said, "The Vaike will see you tonight, Lonny-boy!"

"...Lonny-boy?" he questioned as he pressed the button labeled 'six'. The elevator began its descent as the despairingly large pit of unease grew within him.

"That idiot had better not disturb things tonight, or it'll be his head!"

* * *

He stared at himself in the mirror, adjusting his black tie. The dark grey dress shirt he was wearing fit well with his black pants. As Vaike would say, he looked "sharp". His dark hair remained unkempt, however.

He turned away, quickly slipping on his shoes, shined and polished to perfection. As he left his apartment, the door quietly shutting behind him, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

It was a text, from someone whose number he did not have. It read,

"hey we still on at six thirty"

Lon'qu grunted at the grammar in the text. Nonetheless, he replied with a simple "who is this".

Walking down the hall, he pushed the button on the elevator. His phone vibrated within his hand.

"its the vaike"

Gods. How did he get his number?

Swiftly, he typed his response. "How did you receive my number?"

The answer came to him almost immediately in a vague, shady text.

"the vaike has his sources"

He shook his head. "What do you want?"

"the vaike already said. you still going on that date at six thirty?"

"Yes. Don't tell me you're actually going to show."

"only time will tell my friend"

"No. Do not ruin this for me, or I will ruin you!"

"the vaike will take his chances"

"This is your final warning!"

"see you then, lonny boy"

"Vaike! Do not show up!"

The elevator doors opened with a ping as he angrily stepped inside. He sent another text.

"You fool! Do you hear me?!"

He punched the button for the ground floor.

"As you wish. I have given you your final warning."

He stepped out into the lobby as he shoved his phone into his pocket. In a few long strides, he pushed open the door and made his way across the parking lot to his car. Climbing inside and slamming the door, he produced the keys from his pocket and started the engine.

Pulling out of the parking lot, he drove out onto the street, stopping at a red light. He glanced at his watch.

Ten after six. He still had time.

The light turned green; he took a left and continued down the street. He sighed.

"Alright. There's no way this go wrong. Just... stay calm and collected, and you'll be fine. Talk to her. Maybe... maybe make her laugh. I think I can try that. It can't be too hard, right?"

He made a right, with downtown looming on the horizon. The fading sun silhouetted the skyscrapers against the orange sky.

"All I have to do now," he muttered, "is hope that he doesn't show up."

He continued down the road for another five minutes, until he pulled up to the restaurant. Its look was clearly inspired by Chon'sin's architecture, a look that he knew quite well.

A courtyard sat in front of the restaurant, walled off by stone and accessible by an elegant gate. A cherry blossom tree overlooked the pond in the center, spanned by a wooden bridge. The building itself was made of wood the color of chocolate to create the frame, with white stone in between to serve as the walls. The dark roof sloped downwards, ending in regal golden curls.  
Lon'qu parked in front of the restaurant and climbed out of his car. He passed through the gate and into the courtyard, stopping on the bridge to lean against the railing.

He checked his watch again. He had a few minutes to kill.

Memories passed by from a life long forgotten. Looking out across the neatly trimmed grass, he reminisced of his time in Chon'sin.

He remembered the warm sun shining down on him. The sound of the markets, bustling with people. The sound of insects and the creek in the forest. The smell of his mother's cooking, within his quaint little home.

It used to be a time of peace and happiness.

"So what happened...?" he murmured, running a hand through his hair. Taking a deep breath, he stared into the murky water below him.

It was that fateful day. He could still remember the date; it had been the nineteenth of August. He vaguely remembered walking home from school with Ke'ri, where they were supposed to go into the woods in his backyard.

But he clearly remembered his own shock as he arrived home, its interior ransacked, his parents dead. His rage and fury as he picked up the knife, discarded beside their bodies, and the smell of blood as he brutally killed his parents' murderer. The smell of blood and the sound of tearing flesh as he stabbed his corpse over, and over, and over again...

And Ke'ri. Gods, Ke'ri. His friend, almost his sister, even.

The memories were burned into his mind, forever cursing him to carry the burden for the rest of his life. If only he'd been stronger, faster, he could have saved his parents and Ke'ri. He told himself that every day. Every day without fail. If only-

"Lon'qu?"

Blinking, he slowly looked up, as if roused from a dream. Panne stood before him in a strapless, knee-length maroon dress. She wore no makeup, as usual.

He simply stared at her for several moments, before he forced himself to speak.

"You, ah, you look... nice," he said.

She smiled. "Thank you. Shall we?"

"Of course." He turned and led her to the front doors. He held it open for her as she stepped inside. A hostess approached the pair as they entered.

"Hello, and welcome to the Golden Dragon. How many?" she asked.

Lon'qu immediately froze up and blushed. He did not say anything. Panne, however, spoke for him. "Two, please."

The hostess nodded as she led them to a table. The pair seated themselves as the hostess said cheerfully, "We will have somebody come by to take your orders soon, okay?"

Panne said her thanks as she departed. Picking up a menu, she scrutinized the selections available. Lon'qu did the same.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as they decided upon their orders, before Panne finally spoke.

"The sautéed broccoli, mushrooms, and carrots in garlic sauce sounds good," she said.

"I much prefer the shrimp chow mein myself," he replied.

"Hmm. I never thought you were one for noodles."

"I hail from Chon'sin. Noodles were a staple food there."

"I see. It must have been a very different way of life there than here, in the modern world?"

He put the menu down as he responded. "No. We were farmers, yes, but we were not primitive. We had several major cities, so we were not devoid of society and culture."

She nodded. "I understand. Your country was much like Ylisse, then."

Lon'qu nods as he sees a figure round the corner behind Panne.

And he could not believe his eyes, for if what he was seeing was true, then it was Vaike, wearing a black wig and a poorly-applied fake fu manchu mustache. The left side was angled upwards slightly, while the right may as well have been placed upon his lip.

Lon'qu rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Unfortunately, this only confirmed his suspicions.

Vaike sauntered up to their table, and whipped out a notepad and pencil from his vest. With the worst Chon'sin accent Lon'qu had ever heard, Vaike said,

"Hello, and welcome to the Golden Dragon restaurant! How may the Vai- I mean, how may I take your order this fine evening?"

Lon'qu gritted his teeth as Panne ordered her broccoli, mushrooms, and carrots. Vaike simply winked at him as he wrote down her order.

"And for you, good sir? What would you like?"

"I," he began, "would like the chow mein."

"With shrimp, beef, or chi-"

"Shrimp. Can we also get two waters, please?" He emphasized the please.

"Of course. Right away!" As Vaike turned to leave, he gestured towards the restroom.

Lon'qu turned to Panne. "Um... sorry. Will you excuse me for a moment?"

She nodded, and he quickly made for the restroom. Shoving past a guest, he pushed open the doors to find Vaike hastily fixing his mustache.

He swiftly turned toward Lon'qu and struck a pose.

"Hey there, Lonny-boy!" he exclaimed, dropping his terrible accent, "Convincing, aren't I?"

"No, you fool! I told you not to show up!"

"Ah, but the Vaike did! And he'll help you with your date, just watch!"

Lon'qu crossed his arms over his chest. "How? Just how can you, of all the idiots in the world, help me tonight?"

"Well, like the Vaike said earlier, he's gonna be your wingman!" He jerked a thumb at himself. "And whenever ya need him, he's gonna be there!"

"How will you know if I need your help?"

"Great question! But, as always, the Vaike comes prepared!" He laughed as he produced an earpiece from his vest pocket. "Take this! Now the Vaike can talk to you using this!"

Lon'qu took the small device from him and put it into his ear.

"Just signal the Vaike in some way when you need help. He'll always be watching!"

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Lon'qu groaned as he began to walk away. Vaike ran up and clasped him on the shoulder.

"You've got a lot to learn, my pupil! The Vaike's many wise lessons will guide you through the night!"

* * *

It was an hour into the date, and things were going smoothly.

At least to Vaike.

Two "complementary" glasses of wine sat upon the table, and a small carrot cake sat in front of Panne. Lon'qu had decided to pass upon dessert.

Now, to Lon'qu, things were quite alright. Not the best, as he'd hoped it would've been, but at least Vaike was actually attempting to be of some use to him.

His thoughts were interrupted by Vaike's voice.

"Come on, make some small talk!" he said. "Don't let her eat in silence! I tell ya, there's nothing worse than being on a date where everything is quiet and awkward. Believe me, I've had my fair share of those! Gar!" Obnoxious laughter filled the line.

Lon'qu considered it. But what to say? He didn't have much experience with women.

And as if on cue, Vaike continued. "Now, don't go askin' about the weather today. Ask her about herself. Y'know, just, how her day was, or her hobbies. Hell, you can even talk about when you first met!"

Now there was a thought.

He spoke. "I remember, Panne... when I first met you. Er... As you may or may not know, I have an... aversion, of sorts, to women. But as time passed, and I saw you at Lissa's... er, gatherings, I saw who you really were. And that's... um, that's who I fell in love with."

She looked up at him, a light blush on her cheeks. "... Thank you, Lon'qu. I don't think... I've ever heard anyone say that to me before."

Vaike cut in. "The Vaike doesn't know what his pupil said, but whatever it was, it's working! That's the kind of thing you want from women! The only thing you need now is confidence! Chicks dig a confident man like the Vaike! Ha!"

Panne continued. "But what, pray tell, did you see in me?"

Now it was his turn to blush.

"I... I saw a strong, smart woman, who I could see as an... an equal to me. I once knew someone like you. Long ago." He took a sip of his wine.

Panne smiled. "So perhaps I remind you of this person?"

Lon'qu shook his head. "No. Yes. No. Well... yes. You are quite possibly the first woman I've truly ever... fallen in love with."

"Really? Surely there must have been others?"

"There was no one until I met you," he replied.

"Well, that is quite flattering," she said, staring down at her carrot cake. "Excuse me." She stood and made her way to the restroom.

Lon'qu watched her go, and after she disappeared through the doorway, he flagged Vaike down.

"Alright! The Vaike believes you did well tonight, especially under his guidance!"

"What do I do from here?"

"Ah, it's quite simple!" Vaike pinched his mustache. "Call me over for the bill when she gets back, and then you two should get going. Lead her outside; it should be real nice out there at this time. Make a bit more small talk on the bridge, y'know? Make this day memorable."

"Alright. May I ask how you know all of this?"

Vaike gave a cheeky grin. "Experience, my friend. It's all from experience. Learn from the master, and all will be well!"

He rolled his eyes as Vaike continued. "And she returns! Remember, call me for the bill!" He quickly maneuvered behind a large potted plant.

Panne sat down in her seat and smoothed out her dress. "Shall we finish up here?" She asked.

Lon'qu nodded. He waved for Vaike, who shuffled over.

"The bill, if you please."

"Ah, yes, good sir. Did you enjoy your time tonight?" The terrible accent was once again present.

He cringed as he replied. "Er... yes. I did. We did."

Vaike nodded cheerfully as he fished a check presenter from yet another vest pocket.

"Here you are, good sir."

Lon'qu grunted in response as he took the bill and reached into his pocket to retrieve his wallet.

He pulled out thirty dollars and signed the bill before he put both within the check presenter and handed it back to Vaike.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, sir!" He called out to them as he walked away.

Lon'qu cleared his throat. "Well, I'm sure we should get going."

Panne nodded. She stood to leave, and Lon'qu did the same.

Once again, he held the door open for her as they left. They both slowly proceeded to the bridge, where they stopped.

The sun had disappeared behind the horizon, bathing the entire sky in orange and yellows while simultaneously plunging the land into darkness. The only light in the courtyard came from the traditional Chon'sin paper lanterns strung overhead or from the windows of the restaurant itself. Fireflies flitted about, glowing softly in the night.

Panne was the one to finally break the peace with a short chuckle.

"It's funny," she said.

"W-What are you laughing at?" Lon'qu asked.

"I never thought this sort of thing would happen, but when I'm near you, I get this... this warm, fuzzy feeling."

He blushed. "I... I, too, get that same feeling. But, um, you already know that, don't you?"

She turned to face him. "Yes, I did. And now you know how I feel as well."

They both spent a minute simply staring into each others' eyes, not speaking a word. In fact, you could barely hear them breathing.

"I had a wonderful time tonight, Lon'qu. Thank you for the dinner."

"You're... uh, very welcome."

A comfortable silence settled over the two for a second before Lon'qu spoke again.

"You know... I don't think I've ever seen someone quite as beautiful as you are tonight, Panne."

And just like that, by the divine powers of Naga above or maybe even something more, their lips crashed together in a fiery, passionate kiss. Lon'qu found Panne resting in his arms, one around her waist and another gently stroking her long brown hair. Her own arms were looped around his neck, drawing them closer together.

For the first few moments of the kiss, he panicked. Granted, this was Lon'qu's first kiss, and he was twenty-five years old. But as the seconds passed, he quickly grew more confident with the kiss, and he leaned into it with a renewed vigor. It felt right, and it sure as hell felt good.

They finally broke apart after several more moments, and touched their foreheads together.

"I... you may be quite shocked to find that this is my first kiss," Panne said.

Lon'qu blinked. So he wasn't the only one. He smiled.

They stood there, both finding comfort in the other's embrace, for a few seconds longer before Panne slipped her arms away. Lon'qu released her from his hold.

"We'd... we'd best be on our way," she said.

He nodded. "Right. I'll, um, see you tomorrow?"

She smiled back at him. "Of course." She turned around and briskly walked away.

He watched her disappear behind the gate, and probably would have continued to do so had Vaike not interrupted his thought.

"Oh, man! First date and you already scored a kiss? Not fair!"

Lon'qu smiled as he turned around and looked back at the restaurant. Vaike was watching him from the window, free from his ridiculous attire. "I learned from the best." His reply was almost sarcastic.

He could practically feel Vaike's beaming from the courtyard. "Damn straight! You better believe it! The Vaike is the perfect chick magnet!"

Lon'qu began to head back to his car, striding across the stone brick path that led to the gate.

"Don't get too comfortable, you idiot. You're still a blind fool in my book."

"Hey, that's no way to treat your wingman!"

"Hmph. Consider it your temporary job, and the contract's just expired."

"No can do, Lonny-boy. No matter what you say, the Vaike is now your permanent wingman!"

Lon'qu passed through the gate and made his way to the car, slamming the door as he climbed in. "I don't suppose I can change your mind this time," he said.

"Ha ha! What happened to ruining the Vaike's career?"

"Don't push your luck, you fool." He pulled out of his parking spot and onto the street. "I'll be keeping the earpiece until tomorrow."

"Nah, man. You can keep it. I think you'll be needing it in the future. After all, you still have much to learn from the Vaike! Gar!"

Lon'qu shook his head and groaned as, with the squeal of tires, he tore off into the night.

* * *

**(A/N: Now, I'm sure a there's a few people that support Lon'qu/Panne out there, so here they go! Truth be told, this is one of my most favorite pairings in the game. **

** This is not my first Fire Emblem: Awakening fanfic (my thanks to those who read my first one, Fire Emblem: Understanding), but it certainly is my first real romantic comedy story, so any advice/constructive criticism is welcome. **

**Also, a one-shot describing in detail what happened that day in Chon'sin is in the works, so be on the lookout for that. As for what happened to Ke'ri, you'll all find out soon enough.**

** Finally, an update on my plans for the future. As of right now, I have been writing one-shots. There will be two more before I officially begin work upon a multi-chapter story, set in the same universe as these modern AU one-shots. However, I am having troubles with the name, so any suggestions are very, very welcome. Preferably, I would like the name to be in the format of Fire Emblem: (insert name here). Thank you all for your support!**

**Thanks a lot for reading!)**


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